To Win By Any Means
by Xose
Summary: When John sees he is babysitting scientists for a week, he makes a bet and plays dirty to win.


Disclaimer: Don't own, but really wish I did.

John groaned as he looked over the weekly schedule. There was some greater cosmic power that he concluded hated him…a lot. He was stuck babysitting the scientists all week. They were nice guys and all but being there and listening to them go on and on about the plant life and stuff that John didn't really care about drove him crazy very quickly. He had to trade off with someone, the first person he saw, which just so happened to be Lorne!

"Hey, Lorne!" John called at the Major's back, making the other man turn to glance back at him. The Colonel smiled charmingly and jogged the small distance between them. "Hey, how's it going?" Lorne gave him a small smile, feeling slightly weary of what everyone knew as John's 'I'm about to ask you to do something I don't want to do' smile.

"Fine sir, I was about to get some food," Lorne paused, waiting for John to say something, but they walked in silence for a moment. The Major cleared his throat, "Was there you something you needed from me, Sir?"

John's smile grew into a full on grin, "I'm glad you asked, Major! There _is _something I need!" John clapped his hand on Lorne's shoulder, "I need you to cover the Scientists for me for the week. I'll owe you one!" The Colonel looked hopeful.

"Sorry, sir," Lorne said as gravely as he could with an amused smirk on his face. "But you already owe me three." Lorne couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him when John groaned. He knew just how much the other man disliked being around all of that 'scientific babble' as the Colonel called it. "Maybe try Teyla?" He suggested.

"Oh, good idea!" John was off in search for Teyla, leaving a chuckling Lorne in his wake. It took a while to finally locate Teyla, but when he did, John found her in meditation. Not wanting to be rude, he kept quiet but ended up rocking from foot to foot for a few moments, after those few impatient moments, he sat down next to the woman, crossing his legs as she was. Teyla opened an eye to glance at him but closed it when John opened his mouth. With a humph, John stayed quiet, waiting for Teyla to acknowledge him and start talking. Several long very silent minutes passed and John found himself dozing off, not that he wanted to, so in order to keep himself awake, he finally breached the silence. "Hey, Teyla!"

The entire time John shifted and waited for Teyla to finally give him her attention made her smile. He was about as patient as a teenage boy sometimes. She opened her eyes and turned to John with a smile. "John," she greeted, bowing her head. "How can I help you?"

"What makes you so sure I am here for help? Maybe I just wanted to meditate," John countered with a straight face but the disbelieving snort from Teyla had him smiling again. "Look, can you cover my week with the scientists?"

Teyla's eyebrows rose as she pinned him with an exasperated and bemused stare. There was a moment of silence, John giving her his best 'puppy' impression. "I am sorry; John, but I have asked Elizabeth if I may spend the week with my people." The Colonel looked crestfallen, making Teyla smirk. John huffed and got to his feet before smiling at the Athosian

"Well, thanks anyway Teyla," He nodded goodbye, knowing Teyla would go right back to meditation. John trumped towards the mess hall, going through his list of people he could pawn this off on. He thought of Rodney then snorted, dismissing that thought quickly. Rodney had no ability to fight, he was at odds with any planet they visited and almost everyone disliked him. With growing frustration, John was drawing blanks until a heavy hand landed on his shoulder.

"Sheppard," Ronon growled, "You were trying to get out of running." It wasn't a question. John smiled slyly before turning around, his face now void of glee.

"Caught me red-handed, big guy." The Colonel let Ronon 'guide' him to their normal route. They began to stretch and John decided to act quickly to get his plan in action. "You know," John said nonchalantly, "I'm going to beat you to the midway point today." Ronon's grunt of disbelief had John grinning. "Want to make a bet out of it?" Ronon glanced at him, obviously curious that John was willing to bet.

"Sure," He said with a shrug, what did he have to lose. It wasn't like John ever won anyway, well except for that time he was all bug-y.

"Cool," John turned to Ronon, leaning against the wall behind him. "If I win you take my shift with the scientists for the week." The Satedan's eyebrow rose in amusement.

"And if I win?" He countered with a smirk.

"Aw, hell I don't know, you think of something," John said with a shrug, not really caring if Ronon chose something that would result in physical damage to himself. He wasn't planning on letting the Satedan win; he _really_ didn't want to be stuck with the scientists for the week.

The bigger man smirked, looking as confident as he always did, "Yer on." The two men got ready to race, Ronon waited for John to count off. He never really got why he did that, but it seemed to give the Colonel some sense of confidence that he could win.

"Okay, ready?" John asked, ignoring the eye roll Ronon sent his direction. "One, two, three, GO!" On Go John turned and crouched, quickly punching Ronon in the thigh, his knuckle digging into the flesh. He had given the bigger man a nasty Charlie horse. John bolted after that, not bothering to look back. He could hear the Satedan loping after him slower because of his cramping muscle. The Colonel pushed himself as hard as he could, really not wanting Ronon to win, especially after the Charlie horse. The guy was already going to be annoyed with John for hitting him, but John didn't need Ronon to be smug for winning. Ronon was gaining, spurring the Colonel to go faster. His legs were beginning to burn, the Ancient who thought to make the catwalk as long as it was, was insane.

John was beginning to worry that Ronon might overtake him until he saw the midway point. He pushed himself the extra little mile before finally coming to a haltering stop at the halfway point. The Colonel turned to watch Ronon come up right behind him, looking annoyed. John smiled widely as he leaned against the rail to catch his breath. "I…won!" He huffed, smiling even more as Ronon growled.

"You cheated," The Satedan grumbled, massaging the cramped muscle out and stretching it.

"I was just simulating a possible situation where your opponent will use any means to win!" John said brightly. "And I did win! Which means you get the scientists for the week!" Ronon scowled when John used his 'possible situation' line.

"Fine, you win…" There was a moment of unspoken threat where John very clearly understood Ronon would be getting back at him for the Charlie horse and sticking him with the scientists for the week. All he could think was 'that is totally worth it', which it was, anything Ronon might plan was totally worth a week of blissful peace, a week of not hearing a single thing about 'a rare flower that was all but extinct back on Earth but is flourishing here, this is so amazing blah, blah, blah insert nerdy, scientific babble'.

"Come on, big guy," John said, still smiling like a cat that got the cream, "Race you to the end." Ronon gave him a wicked look and John put up his hands. "No more Charlie horses, promise!" The ex-Runner's eyebrow rose a bit.

"Charlie horse?" Ronon rumbled.

"Yeah,' John rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "It is what we call leg cramps back on Earth. I honestly don't know why it is called that, maybe after some dead horse. Hell if I know." Ronon just shrugged and indicated to John at he was ready to run. With a smile, John moved next to him. "Go!" he shouted. The two men took off; Ronon already three steps ahead of him. "Damn," John breathed out, "Glad I gave him a Charlie horse!"


End file.
